The Change that changes you

Agonising is the word that comes to mind when I relive that moment I was confronted with making a decision to stay or walk away. I had considered walking away several times before and was unable to commit to the process. It is a process to leave. The process often involves children and a good hard look at the finances.

On each occasion that I had considered walking away it was the thought of the children that had me stay.

I stayed in the relationship for the children.

Iwas unable to comprehend how the children would cope with parents living apart, a family no longer one unit.

To leave involves taking into account finances. Finances were always an issue for me as I was a full-time mum for decades.

How does one leave a relationship with little to no finances of their own?

Children and finances locked me into the marriage…

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The Change that changes you

Probably one of the most difficult aspects of life is accepting that another person or human being can choose to make decisions that hurt you. That no matter how hard you may try to do things right or morally correct does not guarantee the same in return.

We often like to believe the best of people.
We assume that others carry with them the same values and duty of care that we hold onto and believe in. Until the day when you realise it simply is not the truth nor the reality.
Your suddenly met with more let downs and disappointment.

It’s so unimaginable to accept that another human being just like yourself could be so against doing the right thing.

How do they live with themselves you wonder?

Is it possible that another human being can be so hard on the inside they have no feelings at all? If…

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The Change that changes you

In my very early teens I remember feeling so convinced and distraught that no boy would ever like me. That thought was only natural considering the depth of how much I didn’t like myself. When I was about 15 years old I was stunned and shocked yet excited that an actual male was interested in me. This led me into my first boyfriend experience. As nice as my first boyfriend was somehow I was always dissatisfied. It was as though I didn’t know how to be content. So when we broke up I went straight into a short fling with a guy that was quite broken. In my heart I knew it was going nowhere very quickly but I kept trying to convince myself that this guy loved me. My heart knew that I was only being used yet my empty craving for affection kept me hanging on. Nothing good…

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The Change that changes you

Its been forever since I last blogged. When I originally started blogging I was on a mission to make sure I got a blog in each week, which then turned into monthly and now it seems that I have missed a month or two ….

My kids, boyfriend, family, work and commitments have filled in every spare moment I seem to have these days so blogging has slipped to the bottom of the list.

The calendar on my kitchen wall gets marked off each day and it literally seems as though I am turning over each new month very quickly. At work I feel as though I am saying Oh its Wednesday today then suddenly BAMM its Friday!!! No complaint there as I love FRIDAYS!!!!

The month of September has included 4 family birthdays and 2 of them were my own children. In the month of September I had one…

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The Change that changes you

Most of what we deal with daily are people’s choices and our own decisions.

The most important lesson I have learnt at nearly 50 years of age is that we can’t change people’s minds, we can’t fix them, and we can’t convince them. When we find ourselves in that type of situation experience has proven me that it only takes up emotional energy and valuable time on issues that we can’t control.

Give yourself a break.

Allow people to make their choices good OR bad.

It’s their choice! You must at some point let go and let them choose.

What good is it to fight against another person’s choices? We wont always agree with those choices as they won’t agree with ours.

All the advice in the world and we will still make our own decision.

I may not have mastered the art of letting go however I have learnt…

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