*The Changing Seasons*

This year has been another big one!

Not much time to sit and write only to get up each day for work.

With today being the day I celebrate Christmas 24th December, I am not at work so have a tiny bit of time to sneak in a few words since I haven’t done so in ages.

This year I reflect back on some of what I have managed to accomplish.

1. Changed Jobs.

2. Finalised a Divorce.

3. Celebrated 2 Years with my wonderful, loving and always caring man. Caring for me and my children.

These top 3 events are what have inspired the heading of this blog.

The changing seasons.

Today is Christmas for me and my family. In a few short hours I will be driving to my sisters to kick of the event. Traditional Finnish Christmas Food, Fun and Family most of all.

*Changed Jobs*

After working in a company for about 2 and half years I moved into another role, similar industry with some differences. I am grateful for the job that provided me with an opportunity to get back into work as my life involved being a mother of 5 for many decades. It isn’t easy for a mature aged person to get a foot in the door. I was desperate at the time and was so very thankful to have been given the chance to work. Starting as a client service co-ordinator involved very busy days. Answering phones, dealing with clients day in and day out. Having grown into that role I then moved into being an employment consultant. Another stretch out of my comfort zone. The company I had started with had grown and things got hectic and out of control. Huge client base with regular short staffing meant the work load was impossible. I tried my hardest yet found myself exhausted by the end of the day. It started to take a toll on my physical and emotional state of being. Was headed for a ‘burnout’…. wasn’t an easy task to find a new job. I was relieved the day I was able to hand my resignation to the manager. Relieved and nervous when I considered the changes up ahead. Sometimes it can seem easier to stay where you are to avoid the unpleasant unknowns when changing companies. It involves getting to know and work with new people and understanding the processes and procedures of a new company.

Change of jobs was ticked off my list this year!

The new job has different pressures ones which are more manageable and doesn’t leave me feeling defeated at the end of the day, so it was a win 🙂

*Finalised the Divorce*

The next big step I had to face was finalising my divorce. I was determined that I pay for this on my own. I had offers to assist financially however I felt that this was something I needed to do with my own hard work and money. It certainly wasn’t a cheap exercise but I PAID FOR IT 🙂 I worked hard to get there. The hard part was not only the finances it was the final step in ending an unhealthy relationship/marriage of 27 years. Despite the heartache I experienced in the relationship taking the final step of a divorce had its own grieving process. It is like that last and final step you take to officially document that the marriage is finalised.

*Celebrating 2 Years*

Then it came time to celebrate 2 years with the most adorable, loving and caring man I have ever met. This man has been my rock throughout all the changes I have walked through. I have so much admiration for him as he is always consistent, respectful, supportive, encouraging, strong, sensitive, loving and affectionate. He is everything I dreamed about when I spent years hurting and feeling lonely in an emotionally disconnected marriage. All the tough stuff I have been through has generated within me such a sense of appreciation for this new man in my life. Not only does he love me unconditionally he also loves my children. The adults and my youngest who is now 12. I am so thankful that all of my children can see what it is to be in a healthy relationship by observing my life. Two of my children don’t really get to see that as they live in another state but they do get to see that mum isn’t falling apart every day at the hands of a man that has no regard for how he hurts another human being.

I can only hope that all my children will come to understand what a healthy relationship looks like and will have the chance to experience that for themselves. As a mum my deepest wish is that each of my children lead a healthy and happy life. That each of them understand what healthy looks like and that the minute they start to see unhealthy they are equipped to confront it and deal with it.

Life is all about change and it doesn’t happen easily.

When seasons bring about change it can demand a lot from us, The rewards are worth every bit of heart ache and pain.

*Merry Christmas* and I hope that the new season of next year brings about good outcomes for you and your family 🙂

Warning: Life is not ‘Set in Stone’.

In June 2018 I will have lived in the capital city of Australia called Canberra for two years. I had grown up in Canberra since a five month old baby. Had completed school in Canberra, gotten married and had four of my five children. Back in 1997 we moved to Sydney followed with more relocations  which eventually had me living in Brisbane for 8 years. Canberra was a city I visited to spend time with my family.

Due to my visits to Canberra being fairly brief I never got a chance to see all the various suburbs to take much notice of all the changes that had happened in over 20 years.

20 Years is a long time!

The changes that I have noticed living back here in Canberra continue to amaze me.

The area I grew up in Canberra is called Belconnen. In Belconnen there is a shopping mall which I frequently walked through as I was heading to work as a young person brave enough to wear high heels every day!

I caught the bus from the suburb I grew up heading to the Belconnen Bus Interchange. The interchange looked like a big tunnel that was built high above the roads. I would walk that tunnel back and forth each day particularly when I worked in data entry as the office was at the other end of where the shopping mall was situated.

The tunnel was looking very old and worn over the years until it was eventually removed and the bus interchange had a major make over. It doesn’t look anything like it used too.

Then there are the suburbs that have grown dramatically filled with houses left, right and centre. Developers building and expanding the suburbs over the years  catering for the population growth.

Growth equals change.

Updates happen every day. Old buildings are pulled down and erected new. Roads are widened, highways are built. Even the playgrounds my kids enjoyed have been modernised. Speaking about modernised it was fairly recently that I was having an afternoon at Lake Burley Griffin. What surprised me was the public toilet!!! I felt as though I was walking into a space ship. It was so modern that you waved your hand over buttons to get things to turn on. As you walked in music started playing! I don’t know if there are other toilets like this around Canberra however a great example of how far things have come.

These changes we see around us are only a reflection of how much our lives change over time, nothing is ever ‘set in stone’.

Our children grow up and begin exploring the world creating their own families. We are constantly facing change and having to adapt to them.

The minute you settle thinking life couldn’t possibly change the smooth sailing lasts only a moment until something turns up to rock the boat!

Amidst these changes we must adapt to our new situations. Much the same way as the areas we live in are updated to adapt to the population growth or to being modernised, we will find ourselves having to change the way we have previously done things.

The person I was twenty years ago is not the same person I am today. A lot has changed. My circumstances have changed COMPLETELY.

When I was younger I didn’t give much thought to my decision making. I went with the flow, whatever felt right at the time. 20 years on I take my time and give a lot more thought to my decisions as experience has taught me that I’m best not to make decisions based solely on feelings. A good feeling doesn’t guarantee a good decision!

As a young person I ignored the facts and lived by my feelings. I have learnt to put my feelings aside and take a good hard look at the facts before I jump into anything too seriously. Feelings change however ‘facts’ don’t change.

My decision making process has evolved due to life lessons which have been my teacher. This is just one example of a personal change or rather a growth area of mine.

As life changes from moment to moment we need to change the way we do things. After all the various changes I have had over the years if I were to continue making decisions based on feelings as I did when I was younger I would find myself repeating the same mistakes.

As you get older you no longer have the energy to make the same mistakes. Mistakes are costly and we all make them. It is apart of the learning process of growing up.

We become smarter and wiser!

Much like old structures which over time start falling apart requiring a make over we too need a make over. If we think we can keep doing things the same way and never change or grow we will find ourselves stuck. You cant move forward when you are stuck.

There comes a time when you have to accept the facts!

If I were to continue living in the past remembering what it was like being a mum to five children wishing I was still there I would never move forward. The facts are that my children are no longer young. Four of them are adults. They don’t need me the same way they used to my level of care has changed. I’m here as a support whenever they need me!

BE encouraged, life will always be changing and you will find yourself needing to adapt and grow. Growth is good! Its healthy! Don’t stay stuck in the past as there is always something new and wonderful to look forward in the future.