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Does a Perfect Day exist?

This past week there has been two words that have hijacked my thoughts, “perfect conditions”. I found myself thinking about how life seems to have so many imperfect situations. This isn’t the only time that I have considered this thought however each time  the conclusion  I end up with tells me that  ‘there will always be something difficult going on in our lives in some area’. I don’t know about you but I am someone who tends to lean more towards being a perfectionist, so when conditions are far from perfect I find that it requires extra effort to stay motivated and believe that things are going to work out regardless.  My greatest battles for moving forward have been in the midst of less than perfect conditions.

In life there are situations that necessitate ‘perfect conditions’ in order for something to be successful. What are some of those situations? A brief google search on when to climb Mt Everest and when not to, describes weather patterns and conditions to watch out for when making a decision about when to climb. While the conditions are never perfect for climbing there is a particular time of the year which ensures a more successful climb. There is what they call ‘the window’, which is a 4-5 day period of stable weather. This window turns up every year around the 23rd May; it is described as a period of ‘perfect weather’.

OK so climbing Mt Everest has never been a dream of mine so how about some of the everyday situations that are more likely to take place requiring ‘perfect conditions’.

Baking a Cake? Alright, to bake a cake you measure up the ingredients and follow the instructions on the recipe. You make note of the oven temperature and make sure it is set at the right heat and wait the required amount of time it takes to cook the cake for success. If it is not in there long enough it won’t be cooked and in too long the family will not be impressed with a burnt crusty cake!

Successful Mt Everest climbs require stable weather and cooking cakes need the right amount of ingredients and oven temperature/time for success. You may think of other situations that require ‘perfect conditions’ to work, unfortunately since I don’t have the perfect conditions in this household such as a maid (I wish)  to do all my work I don’t have time to keep thinking of more examples.

Does the perfect day exist?

A little bit like the Mt Everest climbs we may prepare for our day to run smoothly by planning ahead taking into consideration everything needed to get things done on a given day. You may be on track with your schedule and then something unplanned happens, redirecting the course of your day. Unlike Mt Everest climbs that can turn deadly when weather conditions suddenly change, the sudden unexpected disruptions or changes in our schedule are usually of no physical harm to us. Yes we can get stressed and frustrated yet we make it to the end of the crazy day still intact.

For a perfect day to exist it would mean that everything in life at that time would need to be perfect. For me that would require that my husband, kids and I would be perfect. IMPOSSIBLE!!! If we can’t get everything working perfectly in our day and if we can’t get people being perfect in our day then the perfect day can’t exist. Read more about feelings @  Fickle Feelings.

After getting married and having children you could say that the ‘perfectionist’ in me had to make room for error. On any given morning no one knows which member of the family is going to be in a bad mood or who is going to have a bad day. In a household we all get to hang out together and experience each other’s shifting moods. You may wake up feeling great and then someone else in the household isn’t so great, perhaps their moodiness finally catches onto you and then there goes your great day. Fortunately for our family’s sake we aren’t going to walk out the door on a bad day and not come back. As experience over the years shows us that while today is a bad day tomorrow can be better. We keep doing life and family regardless of the less than perfect conditions.

These less than perfect conditions are often opportunities for growth and change. Every person has the possibility of being selfish or to react with bad attitude. Family scenarios can show us what we are made of and highlight areas we may need to deal with. They are opportunities in which we learn to forgive and communicate.

Sometimes in life we can put things off because we are waiting for the ‘perfect conditions’. I used to believe that I was unable to help anyone if my own life had problems! Or that somehow I was less than other people as they seemed to have all their problems sorted. It is all too easy to look from the outside believing that other families have it all together. We have little conversations in our head saying; if they (the Jones’s) knew what our family was really like………  

There will always be something to work on, some obstacle to overcome, some challenge to persevere through. While it may seem as though you are alone in the struggle, you are not alone. Others do go through stuff too! It may not be talked about or broadcast to the neighbourhood; however no one is immune to difficulties in this life time.

Thankfully the ‘perfect conditions’ or the lack thereof don’t need to dictate where our lives and families are headed. We can allow for issues to be worked out when we are reacting and we can choose how to respond to our imperfect day or imperfect life. There is always room for growth and it tends to happen in our imperfect situations.

Don’t believe for a minute that your life needs to be all in order and perfect to be the person you are destined to be. We are always changing and growing through different seasons in life which will guarantee imperfect situations.

So waiting for that ‘perfect day’ could keep you stuck, how about giving yourself permission to LIVE and ENJOY life right now!

 

Reference: http://www.mounteverest.net/expguide/toclimb.htm

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Is there ever a ‘right time?’

We all need purpose in life!  Having a dream to do something significant with where your passion is gets you to the place of fulfilling your purpose. Having dreams and passions is not enough. It would be great if your dreams came knocking at the door one day and said “hey we are here to fulfil your purpose”.  How easy would that be? Obviously too easy! Life never happens like that. There are always steps we need to take to get there. The steps however small they are lead you to your purpose. Purpose is never all wrapped up and ready to go it takes time to piece together.

When I was younger I had a few dreams and it has taken a journey of a couple of decades to get to where I am today. Where I am today is still far from my dreams however I am closer to them now then a couple of decades ago.

Having had five children and being passionate about mum hood   was a priority that I valued and still value. Once upon a time I had four children less than four years of age. I was in my mid-twenties and at that age it was do-able. My husband worked and I stayed at home doing what mums do; taking care of little ones. YES it was very hectic and exhausting on certain days however I loved every bit of it. It is such a rewarding experience to be pregnant and then give birth to a gorgeous baby with a personality of their own. Each of my five children is unique and diverse in their abilities.

In the middle of the baby season in my life I still had dreams for myself. While I sort of stuck my toe out the door a little bit from time to time it was always the children that took first place in my life. It was something I couldn’t change if I wanted too! They were my priority and I loved it.

After the birth of my fifth child at the age of 37 I was still going through the ‘midlife crisis’ season. We moved to a new state that was incredibly hot and humid in summer and quite isolating from family. This probably did not lessen the pain in that season but perhaps made it worse, I will never know.

As I was coming out of the ‘midlife crisis’ I was aware that there was a dream in my heart still to be accomplished except I had no idea what it looked like as an older person. It was easier to dream when I was younger. When you are young the future looks bright and exciting! I had put my dreams on hold in my younger days to be a mum.♥

So here I was about to turn 43 and wondering what the next phase of my life looked like. I still had a young one to take care of and four teenager/adults living in the house as well. Plenty of housework and duties to perform kept me very busy. Within the busyness there was a nudging taking place on the inside of me. The nudge was begging for attention.

As an introvert and detailed person I usually like to have everything in place before I take something on. I am also someone who likes to feel, I’m very sensitive to emotion. So before taking a step it needs to feel right. A woman’s feelings change from day to day so to rely on those for timing could result in procrastination (which I was also very good at)!

When the nudging started to happen I was in my early forties and coming out of my ‘midlife crisis’, this perhaps put me into an advantage. In the forties one begins to realise that time is running out so there is no time to waste. Evidently this is what happened to me. All of my excuses for any delay in taking steps were no longer valid as I was faced with the realisation that I had less time to feel right. In other words I was not getting any younger.

While my dream was ultimately to help people  it had changed a little in direction. When I was younger the idea of studying psychology was as far away as the last planet is in the solar system from earth. Very average high school grades and a complete lack of interest in school was a true motivator against doing any further study!

One day as I was ‘googling’ options on the internet the words “psychology” came up. The idea of a psychology course was starting to spark interest. As I read more information about the course I decided that NOW was the right time to start. I recognised that if I were to put off taking the step another year then that would be another year I could not get back and that one day I would be able to say  I have finished the course.

Every step counts when you make a decision to head towards your dream. As you journey along you may find that the direction changes a little or you may recognise other areas of interest that perhaps would not have been highlighted to you unless you had taken that first step.

The psychology course has opened up an interest for me in ‘writing’. I recognise that I am not the best writer and have much to learn however I am passionate about connecting with people on a heart level and injecting them with inspiration! My writing is not intellectual head knowledge it is all based on heart. While my psychology course uses words that I have never heard of, my writing is simple and easy to understand on PURPOSE.  The inspiration comes from journeys that I have personally travelled through and have a desire to let others know that they are never alone and that in fact others have also been where they are.

What steps could you take towards your dreams?