Most of what we deal with daily are people’s choices and our own decisions.
The most important lesson I have learnt at nearly 50 years of age is that we can’t change people’s minds, we can’t fix them, and we can’t convince them. When we find ourselves in that type of situation experience has proven me that it only takes up emotional energy and valuable time on issues that we can’t control.
Give yourself a break.
Allow people to make their choices good OR bad.
It’s their choice! You must at some point let go and let them choose.
What good is it to fight against another person’s choices? We wont always agree with those choices as they won’t agree with ours.
All the advice in the world and we will still make our own decision.
I may not have mastered the art of letting go however I have learnt it is better for your own health mentally and emotionally to release people to do what they want to do as opposed to spending too much time trying to convince them otherwise.
Decisions made will have an impact on you good OR bad in much the same way as your decisions will have an impact on the people in your life.
When you try too hard to change someone’s mind you run the risk of crumbling under the pressure, like a dam wall about to explode under the heavy weight of water. The water is headed in a certain direction having set its course and there is no stopping that. When a person makes up their mind your opinions, words, ideas or thoughts will not change that.
Decisions made result in numerous circumstances. Some can feel like an earthquake and rock our world while others may only be felt as a tiny tremor almost unnoticeable. All depending where you are in the scheme of the situation.
When I was a very young human there were many people asking me why I choose the man, I decided to marry. They had lots of opinions, worries and questions. A part of me wanted to listen and another part was stubborn and decided to rebel against their thoughts. I suppose in some way I took the questioning personally and didn’t think to consider that perhaps they were right? Perhaps this person wasn’t suited to me and maybe I did deserve better.
I had made up my mind and no one was going to change it.
My decision making as a young person wasn’t the best as it was always guided by my lack of self-worth. I made decisions based on how little I valued myself, so it only made sense to marry someone who treated me the way I treated myself. I kept pursuing a relationship with someone who was distant emotionally and unavailable. It was almost like a challenge. The more he pulled away the more I kept trying. I didn’t know when to stop. I was fighting for his attention and love. Unfortunately, my decision to marry him meant that I was fighting for his attention and love for 27 years. That is a long time to force someone to love you.
My own decision impacted others around me and mostly myself.
Leaving the marriage 27 years later has equally impacted on others around me.
There is nothing I can do on the impact it has on people in my world as I had to leave to save myself.
No longer can I afford to worry about other people’s reactions to my decision to leave the marriage. I made that choice for myself. We can’t live life trying to please others with our decisions, they will either stick around OR pull away.
To live a peaceful existence means letting go and allowing others to make their choices and letting go of their reactions to our decisions.
We all have the same goal in mind to live a happy and healthy life.
Give yourself a break!
Stop striving for something you can’t change.
Use all that energy into making life a HAPPY and HEALTHY one!
The Change that changes you 