After nearly 5 months of my mum’s passing the deep longing to see her again and speak with her continues. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her or miss her. My mind goes back to last year and all the challenges she went through. Her family by her side every step of the way. My mind is still fresh with memories of her last days on earth which led to her last breath. I was there to the very end with my three sisters and my dad.
Her battle, her face, her hands, her feet, her bravery, her voice, her words, her frail body continue to play on my mind as though it was yesterday. Each memory my heart aches and hurts for her. For what she went through, the loss, the family events she has missed since her passing.
One major event she missed out on was “My Wedding Day”… The only consolation I have of that is her words to me one evening when I was leaving to go home from the hospital, in her words “I’m so Happy you have a Good Man to go home too”. My mum was finally confident that her eldest daughter’s life was moving forwards, it was peaceful, safe and she had no need to be worried about me any longer. As a mother myself I truly understand the concern we can have for our children regardless of their age. A mother only wants their child/children to be safe and happy.
While my mum was not there physically on our wedding day, I like to believe she was there in spirit.
These are the up’s and down’s of life. We cannot avoid heartache and pain. It will always be and it will always invade our happy lives at some point.
I am ever so grateful to have a husband that supports me and loves me for who I am. He brings out the best in me, and knows how to bring comfort to my broken heart. I don’t know how long it will take before my heart has some pain relief from losing my mum, in the meantime I will continue with life and cherish the lovely people I still have in my world.