Life gets heavy as we continue living. This morning I have been thinking about the weight that I carry around, the weight of life events that have changed me forever. I thought I would create myself a short timeline of these events to reflect and understand who I am right now. I have only included all of the events that have taken a toll on my overall wellbeing.
July 2016 -> 27 Year Unhealthy Marriage ended and tore our family apart, I came to Canberra with my then 9 year old to start all over again with only a car, clothes, shoes and some personal items.
August 2016 -> My 9 year old son started school in a new state, new kids, new teachers within a matter of weeks. For a period of time my son would run after me with anxiety, shaking and trembling at the thought of staying in the new school for a whole day. At times I would bring him back with me and other times the teachers supported him to stay. These mornings were heart breaking for both of us.
September 2016 -> Applying for affordable rentals that could accommodate for two while on unemployment benefits barely covering the essentials. Constant knock backs! Until finally an owner said YES! The day before picking up the keys I had an accident and fractured my left foot, with the help of Mum and Dad the following day to pick up the keys, I walked slowly with crutches, moonboot and a shattered self.
November 2016 -> Discovered that my ex husband had introduced a new girlfriend to my three adult children who were still in Brisbane QLD living in the same house as their Dad. Apparently it had been going on for sometime before I found out. Regardless of the sheer relief I felt no longer having to make an unhealthy marriage work, this news was still a shock! It was so soon.
February 2017 -> I started a new job as a Client Services Co-Ordinator with a lot to learn. It was one of the most challenging few months as I navigated the new role. At the time there were two young females that worked there who gave me a really hard time. Constantly whispering behind my back and nit picking everything that I did. Until one day I stood up for myself and it finally stopped.
June 2017 -> Had the opportunity to visit Brisbane, QLD. I saw my adult children and my eldest son with my grand daughter. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see my eldest and my grand daughter in the flesh, this June 2026 it will have been 9 long years. I don’t see it changing anytime soon as our relationship has been fractured for a very long time, even before the marriage ended.
January 2019 -> Our middle child (adult) visited for a family wedding from Brisbane. This was the longest visit I had with him, following that I have only seen him for one hour about 2 years ago. Our relationship is fractured. Both him and my eldest see me as the person their Dad treated badly and disrespected all the time. As such it makes it very difficult to have a connection as I no longer can tolerate that type of behaviour as I see it for what it is, unhealthy! There is no safe middle ground to build from.
December 2020 -> My mum was diagnosed with non-Hodkinson’s Lymphoma and given 3 months to live without treatment. It was unexpected for everyone and one of the most worst new year eve’s I have had. My mum commenced Chemotherapy in January 2021.
November 2021 -> My mum passed away on 20 November 2021 with all of her daughters and husband present. We witnessed her bravery for 11 months following diagnosis. She tried so hard to fight this terrible cancer that was so aggressive and mysterious as the Dr’s described.
December 2022 -> I was diagnosed with cancer that was embedded in a nodule in my thyroid gland. Two days before Christmas I had surgery to have a thyroidectomy. My whole gland was removed. This has impacted on me in several ways since that surgery. I will be taking medication for the rest of my life so that my body believes it still has a thyroid gland. The thyroid gland regulates so many areas of our body and as such I am regularly having to take care of myself with blood tests to check levels. Stress can set me backwards both physically and metabolically.
January 2025 -> Started a new department in the public service and worked in two separate teams. For close to a year I have been exposed to bullying, toxic culture, mismanagement which has resulted in a diagnosis of adjustment disorder. I am currently not working and receiving support from various providers including a GP to recover and find a role in a healthier environment. All of which is a heavy and difficult process.
The above timeline represents all of the major events that I have been through since 2016. The events have caused grief, anxiety, stress, estrangement from adult children and physical challenges. All of which have impacted me at different times right through to the current day. I am not the same person as I was back in 2016.
We as humans are so resilient, with all of the various events that we experience in life we find ourselves continuing to get up each day, brave, hopeful and deserving. At times we advance two steps forward and retreat one step back.
Congratulate yourself today on all that you have accomplished while carrying difficult moments that have shaped you into who you are today 🙂
Pathways and Possibilities 
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