Your Path, Your Pace

I have been dancing in Limbo Land for over seven months this year as a result of a workplace injury. The injury was psychological in nature! Who would have thought I would be dragged through another episode of mental and emotional overload?

My past experiences have given me insight into what is a safe environment and what isn’t. However, when you are working, the tendency is to let certain things slide because of the money factor. Without work, there is no money. But money is only one factor to consider. There are also the questions: What happens if I can’t continue in this workplace? Where do I go from here?

For nearly a year, I pushed myself each day to go to work, all the while knowing it was so unhealthy for me. Being the stubborn person that I am, I just kept showing up. Some days I managed better than others, but in the background I knew my body wasn’t coping. I knew I was heading towards a place I didn’t want to go.

Then there it was. It all collided into an avalanche of overwhelming anxiety, stress and depression, mixed with a whole bunch of bad memories from my past. I sat in front of my doctor feeling broken and overwhelmed, with no idea where I could go from there.

My doctor was so helpful and supportive. I had no idea there could be a way forward out of my backward situation. The process started with workers’ compensation, and how grateful I was to know that I was covered and didn’t need to return to a workplace that was unhealthy for me.

Since that day, I have been navigating a whole new world, trying to understand the processes involved, attending treatment and working on myself to get back on my feet. Little did I realise it would take this long.

Hence the title of my blog, “Limbo Land.”

It has slowly dawned on me over this period that maybe I needed this time. Not only to work through my stressful work situation, but also to sit a little longer with my thoughts and emotions about all that has happened over the past ten years.

When I originally came to Canberra, ACT, in July 2016, I was holding myself together for the sake of my then nine-year-old son. I got a job and started working very hard from February 2017 onwards. During that period, my mother also passed away in November 2021.

Work was a big distraction for me. It gave me less time to think about my life and everything that had occurred. There are still different areas of my life that feel broken, and they continue to nudge at my heart on a regular basis.

There have also been so many great new adventures and amazing highlights over these past ten years. Everyone knows that life isn’t always a fabulous time. There will always be something that hurts on the inside.

I am still in the process of getting my feet back on the ground. The process involves a few different parts coming together, with the goal of eventually returning to a safe workplace. In the meantime, I continue to get myself ready as best as I can for that to happen.

I have always been someone who likes to have the answers upfront, so being in this situation has been a very big challenge for me. I have many unknowns ahead of me, and I do my best to keep getting up each day with a hopeful heart, believing that everything will work out for good in the end.

It is all about not giving up or giving in, no matter how difficult life gets.

There is always sunshine around the corner!!!!