Your Path, Your Pace

To have the courage to break free from an emotionally abusive relationship is by far one of the most difficult steps one will ever take. It doesn’t stop there though. It requires a lot of work on your part to de-tangle all the tightly knit lies and twisted thinking that the other person carefully planted into your thoughts. Remembering that the longer you were in the relationship the more there is to de-tangle.

It is a lot to deal with and work through, in the beginning you marry a person believing they truly love you, the script flips and year after year of mixed messages/actions break you. They break you one bit at a time. YOU are put into situations that hurt. A person that is feeling hurt will at some point unravel and start falling apart. It is as though you are slowly weakening from the inside out. Not as easily detected.

Emotional abuse is silent and undetected. Others watching on witness your reactions to the treatment and may start to think that you are your own enemy, that perhaps you are at fault. The person doing the real damage behind the scenes know very well how to manipulate the circumstances (so naturally) that you start to look like the bad one. With their crafty tactics they convince you for years that your natural responses to pain are your own doing or your own unhealed parts. Not their actions. They cleverly convince other people that you are broken, that they are not the cause of your reactions. Its so deceptive and silent.

Imagine for a moment that someone came along and hit you on the face! There would be no second guessing whether it happened or not, your natural reaction to that pain would be justified to yourself and others. Its out in the open, its obvious as day light. Emotional abuse hides in the shadows like quiet thoughts, its not loud to others around it is subtle, controlling to the person being inflicted. When you finally leave the relationship other challenges eventuate.

There maybe people in your life that have been swept up in the idea that you are the problem. That you were not abused. That maybe you are the abuser! OR you are too sensitive, broken, incapable of having a relationship, complicated etc.

Standing Strong keeps you from wavering.

** The people in your life that don’t give you the opportunity to be understood will always misunderstand you **

They may have a perception of you that has been created like a masterpiece by the abuser and should they choose not to take into account the truth of your experience then the relationship will not move forward. They are not your people!

This is one of the side effects of leaving an abusive relationship that you cannot control. Don’t stop reminding yourself of what you went through and how far forward you have come. This helps you to feel grounded when others don’t understand your experience.

I personally have worked through so much in the past 4 plus years and am so grateful to have another chance a peaceful life. I write about my experiences with the hope that others who relate might find some encouragement and strength from what I have been through.

Always stand strong in who you are and never let anyone minimise your feelings. Hold onto the people in your life that love you no matter what, the ones that support you through thick and thin.

I am so grateful for my fiancé and my family who love me unconditionally and understand my journey. I never have to justify myself to them and they see me as I am.

STAND STRONG ALWAYS!!!!!