To finally have the courage to break free from an emotionally abusive relationship is by far one of the most difficult steps one will ever take. It doesn’t stop there though. It requires a lot of work on your part to de-tangle all the tightly knit lies and twisted thinking that the other person carefully planted into your thoughts. Remembering that the longer you were in the relationship the more there is to de-tangle.
It is a lot to deal with and work through when on one hand you marry a person thinking they truly love you to then go through year after year of mixed messages from them that make you feel broken. They break you one bit at a time. YOU are put into situations that hurt. A person that is feeling hurt will at some point unravel and start falling apart.
As emotional abuse is so silent and undetected others watching on at times only see your reactions of hurt and may start to think that you are your own enemy. That perhaps you are reacting with hurt due to your own brokenness. The person doing the real damage behind the scenes likes to make it look like it was you all along. They not only convince you for years that your natural responses to pain are your own doing or your own unhealed parts not their actions. They also like to convince other people that you are broken, that they are not the cause of your reactions. Its so deceptive and silent.
Imagine for a moment that someone came along and hit you! Maybe they walked up to you and punched you in the face, your natural reaction to that pain would be justified. Others looking on would not question your hurt, they would say it was justified, they saw you get punched. Its out in the open, its obvious as day light. Emotional abuse is hidden in the dark, its only obvious to the person experiencing it. So you are then faced with other challenges after leaving the relationship.
There maybe people in your life that have been swept up in the idea that you are the problem. That you were not abused. That maybe you are the abuser!
This is where standing strong comes into the scene.
THE people in your life that don’t give you the opportunity to be understood will always misunderstand you.
They have a perception about you that has been weaved into their minds by a person and should they refuse you the opportunity to be understood for what you have experienced and gone through then that relationship will not move forward.
Yes that is another side effect of leaving an abusive relationship that you cannot control. It requires strength and daily reminders to yourself of what you have lived through and how your life is so much better now.
I personally have worked through so much in the past 4 plus years and am so grateful to have another chance at life to live peacefully. I write about my experiences to allow others who may be going through that type of abuse to give them strength and hope.
Its an avenue for me to communicate and share that what could help someone else.
Always stand strong in who you are and never let anyone destroy you. Hold onto the people in your life that love you no matter what, the ones that support you through thick and thin. I am so grateful for my fiancé and my family who love me unconditionally and understand my journey. I never have to justify myself to them and they see me as I am.
STAND STRONG ALWAYS!!!!!
The Change that changes you 