As I type this blog I am sitting on the floor of my youngest son’s new bedroom. On one side of me are clothes drying for two. Not so long ago I had clothes drying for a family of six. That has changed now. On the other side of me is my son’s second hand bed I bought recently. It has a few of his toys sitting on some shelves underneath. He hasn’t slept in this bed yet as we have only just been here for a week. It’s all new surroundings for both of us. I let my son have this bigger room which includes a mirrored sliding wardrobe. Perhaps giving him the bigger room was my way of making it up to him for what he has lost so far in the past two months. Obviously he has lost more than his familiar toys and surroundings; he has lost the company of his brothers, sister and what most kids need their dad.
Both my son and I have lost quite a bit this past two months.
Although I was raised here in Canberra having lived here over 20 years ago, it is as though we are starting again. While there are many places I recognise there are also places that are unfamiliar to me. To my son Canberra is only a place he has visited in his 9 years of life as this is where my parents and sisters live. To be living here is very unfamiliar to my son more so than myself.
Once upon a time I used to imagine living back here as I had always missed my family. However I never thought that it would be in the circumstances I now find myself in.
In this first week at our new place I have taken my time in settling in. Partly due to the accident I had with my foot. Getting around is quite slow for me sporting this ‘moon boot’. Since I can’t drive I am having more time to settle. It has been a week of resting and catching my breath.
It can really rock the boat when changes happen. It takes time to settle into new places, especially when you have moved into a different state altogether. The adjustments and emotions that I have had to deal with for instance have been within a very short time.
When changes happen over a longer period of time we as humans tend to deal with it a little better. When sudden changes happen almost unexpectantly we are put into a position of dealing with A LOT all at once.
Today we ate pancakes!!!
There were certain Saturdays that I would get up in the mornings and make pancakes for our family of six. I would try and make them nice and fluffy with lots of berries, maple syrup, ice cream and custard. Even though most of us knew that this was not the healthiest of breakfasts we ate them anyway. Who could resist such a treat? They were a treat and not something I cooked too often.
When in unfamiliar surroundings and circumstances why not create familiar moments and enjoy them. Of course pancakes are not going to solve or change the circumstances. For me and my son they were a lovely reminder of what we once enjoyed as a whole family. Even though we are not all together right now we can still enjoy those pancakes!!!
It’s amazing what you can do to create some familiar within your unfamiliar. There is no need to stop doing what you love even though life has changed. Mind you I have definitely indulged in dark chocolate of late. When changes happen we may need to put some aspects of our life on hold, such as I have had to with my studies. It doesn’t mean that everything needs to be put on hold.
Life may be different yet one is allowed to smile and enjoy life. The enjoyment part may take time to catch on when you are dealing with hurtful and painful emotions. But eventually you can rise above that pain and start smiling again. The pain won’t last forever. It may feel like it will. I still have quite the journey to go.
I don’t think there really is any perfect recipe for getting through seasons of pain.
Over the years of cooking pancakes I found that the more I made them the better I got at it. If I tried a recipe that didn’t work I searched for a new one. While the basic ingredients for pancakes are usually very similar I have found that there are certain recipes that work every time. Once you find the perfect mixture for pancakes it’s pointless to stop using it.
Perhaps it takes time to find the right recipe that works for you in getting through a difficult time. While most of the same ingredients work for most people it may be that you are missing something. It could be that you need to get back up and start doing what you love doing!!!
Personally I have no idea how long it is going to take me to be myself again. In the meantime I will continue doing some of the things I love. One of them happens to be blogging!
What do you love to do? What makes you smile?
Eat those Pancakes!!!