Life certainly has a way of presenting us with challenges. As I consider where I am situated in my life right now I cannot help but wonder how great it would be if I had the ability to rewrite my life somewhat. These past two months have been the most challenging by far and to put the ‘icing on the cake’ so to speak, the challenges have only increased. So much has happened that the reason for how I am still standing lead me to the one person who has written my story. Not only has this person written my story but he has provided me with stores of strength and courage to keep going despite all of the twists and turns that have come before me one by one. This person is Jesus, Gods one and only son.
I gave my heart to him when I was only 17 years of age.
Today happens to be week 8 on this journey. Without going into too many details the main part of this story is that my husband of 27 years and I are separated. Not too many people know about it except for closet family. I’ve chosen to share this information about my life with you as my purpose for this blog page was to be real and transparent.
As I write this blog I am aware that there would be many other people experiencing a season such as separation. Due to the circumstances it has meant that I am in another state away from all of my adult children who I love with all of my heart. Only my youngest is with me. This season has shown me how important family truly is. My family here in Canberra have been extremely supportive. They have seen me at my worst. They have carried me through one of the hardest times ever. Being around my family has helped me get through the past two months. While my heart aches for all of my adult children I have come to accept that there is no other way through this situation right now. In previous blogs you can read about some of the emotions I have had to go through. It is not a pretty time. It is a roller coaster of emotions and circumstances ….
Can it get any worse? Yes it can and yes it did.
As you can imagine when you are separated there are several changes and disruptions that take place. For myself it has meant that my studies have been put on hold for a certain period of time. It has meant that I have had to organise my own finances. These finances of which I am grateful for is what I call ‘my peanut budget’…
My youngest had to start school completely new. This was incredibly painful for him. However he has overcome so much and has made many new friends. Being in a different state and separated means that I have had to organise my own accommodation as well. This in itself was a huge challenge. As most owners prefer tenants who are employed. While I have my ‘peanut budget’ sufficient to pay my way it tends to put you into a category in which a lot of people prefer to overlook you. After brainstorming one night I decided to attach a cover letter providing a short story of who I was including a photo of myself and son. In the next lot of applications I attached this cover letter which clearly paved a way for a YES!!!
So how did things get worse?
The day before I was to go and pick up the keys to our new place of venture, I was visiting a church very close to where I was to be living. Everything was going great and I was content to call this new church, our new church. My son and I made our way out of the double glass doors feeling happy and then suddenly without warning there was a step that I didn’t see. All I felt was my ankle twisting with a jolt. I immediately collapsed onto the ground. I lay there on the ground in immense pain and great shock. I felt dizzy and unable to see clearly. As I lay there the past two months just flashed through my mind and I wondered, why this? Haven’t I been through enough already!!!! I had never done anything like this before. No injuries. Yet here I was on the ground surrounded by amazing people who had rushed outside to help me. Eventually I was capable of being carried back inside the church and was waiting for my sister to come and get me. She took me to the local hospital. After an x-ray they confirmed that it was a bad sprain and a small fracture. The physiotherapist put my foot into a moon boot and so this past week I have been moon walking around my new place. Thanks to the help of my lovely mum and dad who helped me pick up the keys the day after the accident.
My son had to miss a week of school as I can’t drive. Fortunately school holidays have now started for him. Having been separated so recently and then physically injured really does put an interesting twist into my life.
In the midst of all of these challenges I have managed to find some positive thoughts to keep my mind from heading into horrible places. There are always positives in every situation. The positives are that I have a loving and caring family who I get to spend time with. I get to spend time with my parents and my three sisters!!! I’m learning to do things I have never done before by myself. I’m learning to be grateful and thankful for what I do have despite the many things that have changed. And even most importantly I am learning to trust the one that has written my story, trusting that everything is in his hands and he goes before me each and every day.
Life is very real at times,whatever battle your facing just remember that you are not
alone in those battles.
The one that created you goes before you and provides everything that is necessary to
keep you going, even if it means just one day at a time.