We Change

Way back when I started this blog page I had no idea of how life would look ahead of time. Who would have thought I would be leaving a 27 year marriage. Who would have thought I would find myself facing all my fears at once. Life suddenly forced me to fight. And fight I did. I didn’t give up! It’s as though I was figuring out who I was all over again. The past me was a mother of five, married and always feeling defeated. Defeated in my relationship, defeated in my circumstances and overall outlook on life. My heart and mind was fragile. I couldn’t even explain to others how helpless I was.

In my fight to start all over again I fought to get a rental for myself and young son. I fought to find a job. Succeeded with both.

To find love I wasn’t sure about, I of course yearned to have connection and most definitely knew what I wouldn’t settle for, it was so foreign to me starting again, trusting in another human.

I slowly stepped into that space of vulnerability, in giving someone the opportunity to know me. So glad I did 😊 We have been together for about 4 and half years. Now married nearly 4 months. Living in our brand new house….

I’ve grown and I’ve changed. All for the better. Life is content and whole.

As we all know life does get rebuilt from hardship giving us the chance to smile again, and yet we can’t prevent the unexpected moments of change. Last year bought about more change when mum was unexpectedly told she had lymphoma. Suddenly my mum was fighting to live. We fought hard with her. We had her longer then first thought. Then as quickly as she was told after intensive chemotherapy she was cancer free, it felt like a brief moment in time when the cancer came back. We hadn’t had a chance to catch our breath and suddenly we were with her as she was taking her last breath.

Life changed. Mum was gone and we were all broken. I’m still grieving, missing her more then ever, I’ve had to adapt to life without her. It’s times like this we change. We can’t stay the same, life is constantly on the move and we move with it. Good or Bad!!!

💜

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